Time to Laugh: 8 Things You Shouldn’t Do on Taper
By Morgan Pestorius
Taper is the most wonderful time of the year, and it serves as the best excuse for why you can’t do anything except lay around and watch Netflix. Just print out this article and carry it around to use as a get out of jail free card!
1. Take Out the Trash
During taper, you don’t have to take the garbage out at night when the monsters can come and get you. That would be way too much energy, and also very dangerous. Thanks taper for saving my life.
2. Shovel the Driveway
With all these winter snowstorms, your parents will be asking you to bundle up and shovel the driveway. Thanks to taper, you can stay inside with the hot chocolate while your siblings freeze outside.
3. Participate in Gym Class
Swimmers are already the most uncoordinated athletes on the face of the earth. The last thing you need is to attempt to play soccer and end up twisting your ankle the day before your championship meet. It’ll be safer just to sit out for a few classes.
4. Carry Groceries
In a swimmer household, there are plenty of groceries to satisfy their insatiable appetites, which means there are lots of groceries to unload from the car. Usually you would have to unload it because it is your food, but now your family has to carry the full load.
5. Take the Stairs
Why take stairs when elevators are available? That energy you save could be what gets you a best time in your race.
6. Save Kittens from Trees
As much as you want to be just like Mr. Incredible (ripping a tree out of the ground and shaking a cat from its branches), that just takes too much energy.
7. Help Old Ladies Cross the Street
You can’t risk breaking taper by walking that extra block to help grandma cross the street. Best save that for the boy scouts.
8. Do homework
Photo Courtesy: Johannes Jansson
Swimming is half mental, so you need to rest your brain to make sure you are sharp. You need to be worrying about racing strategies, not derivatives. Okay…maybe you shouldn’t quit homework.
Sean Pearson
Lol
This just isn’t feasible for a 13 year old!!
Yvonne Wilkins—may want to post this for our high schoolers!!!
Abygail Mouzakis.
Wait! I should have read article first!
Hahan that sucks. Have fun doing my chores!
Haha Aby – I’m onto you.
Piper Swindler Marquis. Please show Chloe
No funny stuff, Chloe
Brage Hveding Ersdal Tom Olav Bellikka nr. 5!
Andrew Plese
Justin Cheok
Kaden Amidon
Tim Sucki Klemens Degenhardt wichtig
Tim Sucki Klemens Degenhardt wichtig
Kaia Celine Hylland
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Tim Sucki Klemens Degenhardt wichtig
Sandy Armstrong Barrett Kelly Flannigan Soh grace agrees wholeheartedly!
Jamie Kolar Emily George i’m dying
Ahhh nope can’t do any of it!!! Haha
There is still cooking and house work
HaHa!!
I like this kind of taper! Thomas Ramsay, Ciaran Plenty, Tomas Muller Ally Ashley
Also: cleaning up dog poo & unstacking the dishwasher… wouldn’t want to accidentally strain your lower back.
Nope wouldn’t want that
Hanging out the washing also has the potential to wear out those all important shoulder muscles.
I think just exiting bed is a bad idea
Oh no, no… might get bed sores.
I should write a book for hypochondriacs.
Tim Sucki Klemens Degenhardt wichtig
Tim Sucki Klemens Degenhardt wichtig
Tim Sucki Klemens Degenhardt wichtig
Lina Maria Gundersen Matilde Lyngstad hahah nr.3 og nr.5
Jamie Kolar Emily George i’m dying
Ahhh nope can’t do any of it!!! Haha
Jamie Kolar Emily George i’m dying
Ahhh nope can’t do any of it!!! Haha
Jamie Kolar Emily George i’m dying
Ahhh nope can’t do any of it!!! Haha
Sammy Steigerwald, take note
Sammy Steigerwald, take note
Bram haha!
Sammy Steigerwald, take note
Matthew Forbus
Jake Ores
Especially number 8
Ha
Carl Wilson / it wasn’t Lily’s fault – she didn’t have to take out the trash !!!!
I laughed out loud about them being uncoordinated in gym. My daughter can trip walking on a completely flat surface.
Taper or no taper it seems my kids don’t think they need to participate in day to day house duties that are deemed beneath them
In fact they don’t do anything even when asked 10 times and at that point as it escalates to a point of no return they say “you don’t understand”
I understand that children need to do their bit too!
Jeremy Limson Mitchell Mages
I like that last one 🙂
There’s one thing that’s not on this list and I’m glad it’s not… 😉
OH GOD
Addison Peitz Adrienne Kusek Joseph Kelly Brodrick Emanuel Layne Uecker Brianna Geigle soooo…not doing anything physical or mental for the next month
Im showing my mom this….now..
It’s so true
Helena Rosendahl Bach
Lexi Nasrallah
Lexi Nasrallah everyday
YYYYEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!
Petar Galić David Salamon Mark David Lovro Draginić evo decki ahahah