How to React When Your Coach Leaves

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Photo Courtesy: Peter H. Bick

By Jamie Kolar, Swimming World College Intern.

The relationships we swimmers have with our coaches is something unique. It is often described as love-hate, but it really is so much more complex than that simple definition. Our coach is our motivator, supporter, toughest critic, confidant and our worst enemy. Despite all these mixed feelings, we would not trade it for anything in the world. So, what are you supposed to do when they leave?

There is no textbook to guide us to feeling better, unfortunately. In my own career, I have had the bitter sweet experience of going through the gut-wrenching goodbyes 10 times, and with one coach twice. Each coach was special and hard to say goodbye to and I wish I could say that it got easier every time I went through it, but that was most certainly not the case. I cannot tell anyone how to feel, the only advice I can offer is this.

Expressing your emotions is okay.

simone-manuel-tears-shock-crying-gold-medal-100-freestyle

Photo Courtesy: Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

It is more than okay to shed a few tears, or express how you feel in whatever way you feel most comfortable. The relationship you had with your coach was one of a kind. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and yet somehow now it doesn’t seem to matter. This goodbye will be the last moment that you will share together, which is difficult in and of itself because it seems to overshadow all the other great moments that you would rather remember.

It seems overwhelming, especially when you know that this chapter of you career is closing. But, in reality, it is not an ending, but just the beginning. As swimmers, we believe that our coaches have a huge influence over our performance. To some level that is true. It is important to remember, though, that you are the star of your own show, and that your coach is the supporting cast, important to the development of the main character but not a deal breaker when exiting the show.

Tell your coach what he or she means to you.

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Photo Courtesy: Cece Arrison

Everyone has an impact on every person they meet, whether it be positive or negative. Some impacts are greater than others, so let your coach know that they have had some significant impact on you and have shaped who you are as a person.

Let your coach know that they have made a lasting impact on you so they know they have not only made you a better swimmer but a better person. It will be one of the last times that you can inflate their ego so just go for the gold here. In the long run, your coach will be grateful that they had have left some lasting impression on you, whether it be in or out of the water. It somehow makes the legacy seem more permanent.

Be open to the new guy.

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Photo Courtesy: JD Lasica

Although the relationship you had with your coach is special and cannot be replaced, give the new coach a chance. They will not be the same as your old coach and that is okay. Know that their styles will be different, and do your best to try and be open-minded to new ideas and suggestions. It is not always easy to give someone new your trust, and at times you may not want to. But do your best to open up to them and be as welcoming as possible.

Change can be a good thing. With a new set of eyes watching you, there may be new chance for growth and improvement. Chances are that you will develop a unique relationship with them.

Time heals all wounds.

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Photo Courtesy: Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

This is the part that is the hardest. It hurts to hear that someone you care about will no longer be a major part of your life. It is not easy to move on, but it is possible. The relationship that the two of you shared will always be there, the good as well as the bad moments. Often, the bad moments fade easily, but the good memories will last a lifetime. Despite all the emotions that you may be feeling, good or bad, your career will go on, and you will continue to work hard and be the star of your own show, which at the end of the day, is really all that matters.

All commentaries are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Swimming World Magazine nor its staff.

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Jacob Turner
6 years ago

It sucks

Jr
Jr
6 years ago

How pathetic it is to use a photo of David Marsh he wanted no part of the kids .

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