A Tribute to the Silent Struggle

Photo Courtesy: Taylor Brien

By Andrew Jovanovic, Swimming World College Intern

There are certain people who consistently miss yards because their “shoulder hurts” or they have to “use the bathroom.” Everyone knows what those certain individuals are doing and why they try to get out of practice. This article is not about them. It is not about those who openly struggle and make sure that their teammates, coaches, parents, girlfriends, boyfriends, exes, in-laws, lawyers, doctors, cousins twice removed, and Jim who was Santa Claus at the mall back in ’05 know their struggle.

No, the purpose of this piece is to honor those who push through the hard sets and the challenging work-outs silently and behind closed doors.

You’ve seen these restrained and poised athletes. These are the swimmers who never complain, who never waver, and who take care of themselves. They seldom make excuses to leave the water, dryland, and or lifting. Everyone knows the stories of the victims– the ones who, when they hear how hard the set is, ask to use the washroom or stretch.

However, many people do not know the hardships behind the silent struggle of the reticent warriors.

The Unwelcome Passenger

Mallory Remick is going into her senior year at Princeton University. She attended Loyola Academy for high school and swam club at Wildcat Aquatics. While she did have success at each of those programs, for every inch won, it seemed yards were lost. This is her struggle…

The former Rambler and current Tiger knew she was injured for the first time in 7th grade. According to Remick, it was a bad practice. Not being able to move her arms without pain for a few days after the practice, she knew this not only was serious, but also long-term.

“I remember that practice like it was yesterday,” Remick said. “It really hurt to swim and I ended up kicking for three to four months.”

This also began a 9-year physical therapy regimen.

“I cannot remember what kind of tendinitis it was (because I’ve had them all), but PT started two to three times a week, every week since.”

The transition socially from grade school to high school came easy for the loquacious and easy-going Remick. Long-term friends and relationships were established and the coursework, foundation, and hard work began that would one day land her in one of the best universities in the country.

One thing was apparent, however. The shoulder injury would travel with her like an unwanted passenger for the next four years. It became a mental struggle, never knowing if the pain would be more serious than it was before.

“Looking back, I wouldn’t have made it without my family, coaches, and physical therapist,” Remick said. “Quite honestly, they helped me stay positive and somewhat sane; they deserve the most thanks.”

The injury, however, stuck with her. But her junior year of high school turned out to be her best year athletically in high school and in general. Learning how to manage her injury became the biggest skill acquired by Remick.

“I learned the difference between which pain was ‘real’ and what was the result of normal training,” remarked Remick. “Knowing the difference between the two allowed me to take control of the injury and not let it define me.”

Defined By Actions

We all know those teammates that let themselves be defined by their frequent bathroom breaks and stretches on the pool deck. This is definitely not to say that their issues are not real to them. Unfortunately, we do judge teammates’ actions and those habits become their defining moments.

The most respectable avenue to drive is that which does not let one be defined by their injury.

“It was then I chose not to be defined by injury,” Remick said. “Instead, I took control and responsibility.”

There were, of course, ups and downs from 7th grade through high school. Just as the “ups” paid off, new struggles emerged in college.

“At the end of my sophomore year, I had an appendectomy. This threw me completely off because it offered no explanation– it was a freak occurrence.”

After the procedure, Remick was out of the water for two months. It was an incredibly slow process coming back.

“You don’t know how much you use your core until someone cuts into your core,” joked Remick.

The mental backlash gave rise to questions like what had caused this? What could be done? Since this was a completely different kind of injury and the skills she acquired dealing with the first injury may not be applicable, Remick was forced to improvise, revisit, and solve her new-found problem.

“It sucked,” she said. “From this, however, I had to learn how to appreciate the little things. I got so excited when I could do a flip turn again or to swim 500 yards. I learned to appreciate what I had previously taken for granted.”

Even if the mental struggle was real, Remick found a new love, or rather a rekindled flame for the sport of swimming.

“Training again was expected by me, but when I was recovering, little things meant the world to me.”

The renewed love would be tested in the fall of her junior year. Overuse would force patella tendinitis on Remick. This would become the biggest struggle yet.

“I let that injury get to me too much. I learned lessons the hard way. For a time, I let the injury define me,” recalled Remick. “If you let the injury define you and scare you, you’ll never overcome it.”

Taking Control

She overcame the injury. Looking back, Remick stresses that you can focus on the injury. What should be a month-long struggle should never turn into a season-long ordeal. You have the ability to take control of injuries you sustain. The ball is in your court or, rather, the paddles are on your hand.

Mallory and I have been teammates and close friends for a very long time; longer than either of us might readily admit. Not once did I ever hear Mallory complain or make excuses. Not once did I ever see Mallory skip out of dryland, lifting, or swimming. She managed her injuries and, in some ways, she controlled them. I asked her why was she so quiet– why did she struggle, more or less, silently?

“The goal is to be a good teammate. People are always struggling with things swimming-related or not. Negativity affects others and I didn’t want to do that to others.”

A great teammate she was and always will be.

The way in which we deal with our injuries defines who we are and the perceptions others have of us. EVERYONE struggles. The sport of swimming bestows upon us the skills and experiences necessary to overcome adversities we face. Sometimes we do it alone and sometimes we look to others.

In any event, let this be a tribute to those who silently struggle with injuries. You are not alone. You may not always be seen or heard, but you overcoming your hardships become the light at the end of the tunnel for those who also are also struggling.

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