37 Thoughts Swimmers Have While Putting On A Racing Suit

Photo Courtesy: Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

37 Thoughts Swimmers Have While Putting On A Racing Suit

We turn to the archive for this piece by former U.S. National Team member and Swimming World intern, Courtney Bartholmew. A standout at the University of Virginia, Bartholomew takes a humorous look at what runs through a swimmer’s mind while donning a racing suit.

By Courtney Bartholomew (From Swimming World Archive)

It’s time to tell the story of the swimmer and their technical suit. You know, the one you squeeze your body into? That suit that takes 30 plus minutes to put on for a 22-second race?

Photo Courtesy: TYR

Here are 37 thoughts swimmers have while putting on a fast suit:

“Yay, the new fast suits are here!”
Begins dreaming of the best times and how you’ll look in the suit.
Opens Box. Pulls out suit. “Wow, that looks tinier than I remember.”
“I wonder if my big toe will fit through the leg hole?”
“Maybe I should try the suit on before the meet starts?”
“No, I really don’t want to squeeze my body into the suit before I have to.”
“If I try the suit on now… maybe it’ll stretch out a little before I have to actually swim in it.”
Stares at suit for 10 minutes contemplating the task at hand.
Sticks the first foot into the leg hole.
Sticks the second foot into the leg hole.
“Wow, this isn’t as bad as I thought.”
Begins to pull the suit past the calves.
“Am I really putting this on right now?”
“My leg looks like a sausage coming out of its casing.”
“Is this sweat dripping or are they my tears?”
“How long have I been trying this on for?!”
“I need to sit down and take a moment.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can do this for.”
“Did I really need to eat that cookie two weeks ago?”
“If I die while putting this suit on, will anyone ever find my body?”
“If I put Vaseline all over my body will it go on easier?”
“I really hope I don’t have to go to the bathroom once this is on…”
“Why didn’t I choose a different sport?”
“Did it just rip?!”
“Oh no, it was just the sound of the suit smacking my skin.”
“I am so happy it didn’t rip. I couldn’t put another one on right now.”
“I was thinking I looked fit the other day, this suit is telling me otherwise.”
“YAY! Its finally over my hips!”
“I’m going to need help with putting my straps on.”
“My swimmer shoulders are too big for this suit.”
“The suit is FINALLY on!”
“I am going to swim so fast with this on.”
“It only took 30 minutes to put on!”
“That might be a best time for me!”
“I have to take it off now…”
“I don’t want to do this again.”
Takes off the suit

Photo Courtesy: JD Lasica

Swimmers have a love-hate relationship with racing suits. We love how they make us feel in the water and how they signify fast racing, but the amount of energy expended to put the suit on makes it difficult to enjoy the process. So next time you’re putting on a racing suit, think of all the thoughts you have while squeezing your body into it, you may just laugh the whole time.

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Sally Slygh

7 years ago

Courtney you signed an autograph for my niece at Cheesecake Factory after Duel in the Pool. That made her day! Thank you! This article makes me think the tech suit I just bought her is way too big…

Author

Courtney Bartholomew

7 years ago

Reply to Sally Slygh

Of course! Thanks so much!

Christina

7 years ago

38) I think I just destroyed my taper putting this thing on.

Frances

7 years ago

Super funny. But they do make a difference!

Dara Goldsmith

7 years ago

If you are a masters swimmer there are a few other ones that come to mind after you get it past the calves……

If I slip and fall before the darn thing is on and someone sees me like this I hope they don’t use FB, instagram or snapchat.
Don’t they realize some of us have had children and my body is no longer as lithe as it was at 15.
Really, we cannot have suits with zippers, at some age zippers like velcro on shoes, ought to be okay.

Sally Guthrie

7 years ago

Reply to Dara Goldsmith

….and no one mentioned the bruises on your upper arms from pulling on the straps….AFTER you manage to get it over the booty bits…

Joanna Smith Scoons

7 years ago

Savannah Scoons

Sarah McChesney

7 years ago

Kleanza James Cathers???

Nathalie Carby

7 years ago

So true…30 minutes to get into a suit you race for less than 30 seconds…

Lotte Rolink

7 years ago

Danique Schulte ?

Amy Oo

7 years ago

Laura Ruppel….I thought of u!! Lol

Kristin Burlew

7 years ago

Kayla Davis Catherine Gavell

Samantha Vogt

7 years ago

Holland Morris ME

Holland Morris

7 years ago

Reply to Samantha Vogt

HAHA YAS SO TRUE! Samantha Vogt

Kleanza James Cathers

7 years ago

I laughed at every single one omg Sarah McChesney

Salma Shabana

7 years ago

May Aon Malak El Alaily Anna Chadwell Engy Ayad Seung Jee Song

Anonymous

7 years ago

Layla Kishli take 2 minutes and read this. It might give u an idea

Michelle Reed Binkauskas

7 years ago

Haha, Danielle Binkauskas. Never again!!

Wendy de Bruin

7 years ago

Nicky Deijl Thirza Belder

Thirza Belder

7 years ago

Reply to Wendy de Bruin

?? klopt echt

Ellen Cassidy

7 years ago

Emma Moloney

Cat Steinbach-Payne

7 years ago

Kailah Buchanan

7 years ago

Reply to Cat Steinbach-Payne

Oh how horribly true… ?

Garry Mason

7 years ago

What no Ellen Cassidy

Heather Clark

7 years ago

Naomi Kirsh

Jen Thompson

7 years ago

Kelly Murphy…share this Em

Fleur Parker

7 years ago

Lizzie Godfrey I read this and thought of you xx Michelle Matson and I have these thoughts regularly Xxxxx

Sarah Adams

7 years ago

Reply to Fleur Parker

Haha…. You beat me to it! I was thinking about Lizzie too xx

Lizzie Godfrey

7 years ago

Reply to Fleur Parker

Haha!! These are really my thoughts although I’ve not made it all the way through yet as I haven’t got it over my shoulders yet!!!! And there isn’t a mention about going for a wee!!??

Naomi Collier

7 years ago

Reply to Fleur Parker

Lizzie Godfrey – no 14 made me laugh. That would be me. ?

Michelle Matson

7 years ago

Reply to Fleur Parker

Haha, yes, have been there with every one of those thoughts!! But it’s the getting it over my shoulders that’s the one that would take me well over 40 things!! ? xx
Lol Fleur, little old ladies with their hands down my suit and you standing on a bench to get it over my shoulders ? xxxxx

Gemma Davies

7 years ago

15, 23&24 were me on sunday??

Gemma Davies

7 years ago

Reply to Gemma Davies

India Woodruff

Aimee Szabo-Costa

7 years ago

Jodi Ziegert

Lisanne van Giessen

7 years ago

Hahaha dit dus Renske Den Dekker Anouck Oppenhuizen Petri Velthuis Robina Hoegee

Anouck Oppenhuizen

7 years ago

Reply to Lisanne van Giessen

Hahaha sws?

Tracy Mehringer

7 years ago

Cady, sound familiar?

Jodi Ziegert

7 years ago

I believe there are a few extra steps….Did I hack off my fingernails low enough because they are so short I can’t file them? Are those blisters on my fingers? These heavy duty surgical gloves my mom gave me to put this suit on are the bomb! Is my butt all the way in? Someone help put my butt in so I don’t have drag from a plumbers crack?

Paige Bayliss

7 years ago

Amy Sambell ??

Amy Sambell

7 years ago

Reply to Paige Bayliss

Haha! So true. You will have these thoughts too Samantha Crosby!

Rachel Gregory

7 years ago

Okay but what about finally taking off the suit and then it gets stuck on your hip bones again? And you think, “is it worth it to cut myself out of this multi-hundred dollar suit?”