{"id":349483,"date":"2022-11-10T07:00:49","date_gmt":"2022-11-10T14:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/?p=349483"},"modified":"2022-11-11T08:00:12","modified_gmt":"2022-11-11T15:00:12","slug":"why-i-shouldnt-have-quit-swimming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/why-i-shouldnt-have-quit-swimming\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Shouldn\u2019t Have Quit Swimming"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why I Shouldn\u2019t Have Quit Swimming (From the Archive)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

By Swimming World Guest Contributor, Nicholas Zhu<\/em><\/p>\n

First let me start off with why I did quit.<\/p>\n

As a kid, I hated swimming. I would cry when my parents dragged me to the pool for basic safety lessons. They used to bribe me with White Castle Sliders out of desperation. Fast forward a few years, and I had somehow found myself on a competitive team. It was so ironic. I attended my first meet at 12 years old, which was relatively late compared to my peers. Leading up to my first race, the 100 breast, my nerves were off the charts. Behind the blocks, I was seriously considering making a run for the parking lot. After the race, I met my dad in the locker room. I still felt uneasy, but I vividly remember saying, \u201cthat was actually kinda fun!\u201d<\/p>\n

From that moment on, swimming became far and away my favorite activity. Every aspect of it was enjoyable. Even the 5 a.m. alarm on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays became almost tolerable.<\/p>\n

Almost\u2026<\/p>\n

For the next five years, I swam and swam and swam. Three dull weeks in August was all the break I got or wanted. Even though I wasn\u2019t a great swimmer, September never came quick enough.<\/p>\n

By the time high school rolled around, I had become the biggest swim nerd ever. I knew all of my times to the hundredth. I knew all of my teammates times to the hundredth. Heck, I even knew their splits to the hundredth. When I was in the pool, there was so much whirling about in my head, I wouldn\u2019t have noticed if a meteor landed in the pool. Despite my obsessiveness, swimming was never in my plans beyond high school. For some reason, I thought that swimming was a recreational high school endeavor that wouldn\u2019t be practical in college.<\/p>\n

Sitting with my laptop typing this out, I wish I could go back in time and smack some sense into myself. But, I can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

My senior year, I was applying to colleges without even telling them I was a swimmer. It was so weird because at the same time I was swimming harder and faster than ever. During the 2016-17 season, I felt like I was two different people. One was online, artificially installed in a college application. The other was desperately trying to preserve my swimming career. Despite this strange personality split, I finally finished the exhausting college search, ultimately deciding to attend the University of Pennsylvania.<\/p>\n

Soon after officially committing, I half-heartedly reached out to inquire about potentially joining the varsity team as a walk-on. At this point I was suspended in a state of conflicted uncertainty. Some days I was sure I should swim. Some days I knew I shouldn\u2019t. That summer, I was at a team barbecue when two of my coaches approached me. They told me they had spoken to the university coaches, and I could start making preparations to swim. They then explained the countless benefits of college swimming and why I should absolutely go for it. In the moment, I was sold. A few days later, I was registered with the NCAA clearinghouse, and it was looking like varsity sports would really be a part of my future.<\/p>\n

Then everything suddenly hit a wall. I don\u2019t know what it was, but for some reason I knew I was done. I remember my final race: the 200 back final at 2017 Summer Senior Champs. The swim was fine, but I remember my eyes welling up in my goggles after. A few days later I sent the university coaches an email telling them I was retiring. I still can\u2019t fully explain why I made such an abrupt decision. It\u2019s likely I\u2019ll never know.<\/p>\n

Going into college I thought I had made the right decision. Things were on track to turn out better than great. However, mere weeks into school, I started to struggle. The endless memories of my swimming career became tainted with an internal bitterness. When I scrolled through my phone and looked at all of the pictures, I couldn\u2019t help but feel regret. I don\u2019t think I understood the value of swimming until it was gone from my life.<\/p>\n

Coming into college my perceptions were filtered through a black and white lens. I thought I had to choose between school and swimming. In retrospect, I believe I could have done both. Athletics kept me in check. They kept me from going crazy. Swimmers are family. Before college I had that family. There\u2019s something indescribably connective about the shared pursuit of athletic improvement. I know many of you will agree when I say that in the pool, teammates become friends, and friends become family.<\/p>\n

I have no replacement for swimming. I\u2019ve looked, but I know it\u2019s not here with me. At school, everyone strives for different achievements. I want to apologize to my coaches for not listening to them. I acknowledge that you were right, and that I refused to listen. I want to apologize to my family for constantly jerking them around. I know I\u2019ve been difficult, and I really appreciate your unwavering support.<\/p>\n

Lastly to those who are considering forgoing college swimming, I ask you to stop and think. Forget the times, the sets, the hours; forget all that. If you haven\u2019t been improving as fast as you like, who cares. That\u2019s not what\u2019s really important.<\/p>\n

All commentaries are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views\u00a0of Swimming World Magazine nor its staff.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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