{"id":195215,"date":"2016-04-22T09:00:36","date_gmt":"2016-04-22T16:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/?p=195215"},"modified":"2016-04-19T13:07:57","modified_gmt":"2016-04-19T20:07:57","slug":"standing-with-shayne-becoming-male","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/standing-with-shayne-becoming-male\/","title":{"rendered":"Standing with Shayne: Becoming Male"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><em>By Cristian Corbett, Swimming World College Intern<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This is a story about <strong>Shayne Stone<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0Shayne is a junior student athlete, member of Sigma Phi Epsilon with\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">majors in exercise science and biopsychology. He competes for the Monmouth College Fighting Scots swimming and diving\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">team and up until this year, Shayne was a female.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Born Sadie Stone, Shayne grew up in Saint Paul, Minnesota. Growing up, Shayne knew that he was\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">transgender at a very early age. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cI had my sixth birthday party, and my dad said \u2018Alright, put on your\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">swim suit,\u2019 and we had this big long argument because I didn\u2019t want to put on a girl\u2019s swimsuit, I just\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">wanted to wear shorts. I ended up wearing the shorts, and it was fantastic,\u201d Shayne said. \u201cI didn\u2019t really\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">know what it was when I was younger; I just thought I fit in with the guys. When I was in eighth grade, I\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">was watching the news, and there was this guy who was going to be a male model and used to be a girl.\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">That was the first time I heard the word \u2018transgender\u2019 and I was like, \u2018Yes, that\u2019s what I am.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Despite knowing this, he kept it to himself for a long time. Shayne feared the reaction of his friends and\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">family. \u201cIt\u2019s the fear of being rejected by the closest people you love. My dad has been proud of me with\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">all of my athletics, and I didn\u2019t want to disappoint him by telling him this.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0Shayne&#8217;s family supported him throughout the entire process. &#8220;They never made me conform to being a female. They supported me even when I got looked at different as a kid.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Coming to Monmouth has helped Shayne find more comfort in himself. \u201cIn high school there were\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">problems. I was looked at funny. When I got here, all of these people, especially the swim team, looked\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">at me like I was just another person. These guys will have my back no matter what.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Amidst a huge\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">transgender movement going on, Shayne felt now would be the safest time to come out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cFrom the top down it seemed as though everyone was with him 100 percent,\u201d teammate <strong>Matt\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Engebretsen<\/strong> said. \u201cWe all loved and supported him when he was competing on the girl\u2019s team and will\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">continue with that support when he competes with us on the men\u2019s team next year. The response has\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">been wonderful.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cIt was a tough decision,\u201d Shayne said. \u201cI sat for months deciding whether I should finish college as a\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">female or if I was gonna change. It was something I always wanted to do and I thought \u2018now is the\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">time.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m really not one for firsts,\u201d said Shayne. But he will be one of the first transgender NCAA athletes, and the first in the Midwest to compete for both the men\u2019s and women\u2019s teams. <span class=\"s1\"> The first openly transgender NCAA athlete is <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/harvards-schuyler-bailar-featured-on-60-minutes\/\" target=\"_blank\">Schuyler Bailar<\/a><\/strong><\/span><span class=\"s1\">, who was the top women\u2019s swimming recruit at Harvard. He transitioned before his freshman\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">year, and competes for the Harvard men\u2019s swimming and diving team.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Shayne and Bailar have been in touch, thanks to Shayne\u2019s father. \u201cI saw his story because my dad sent it\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">to me,\u201d Shayne said. \u201cI thought it would be cool to reach out, so I messaged him for advice. We talked\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">and he told me what it was like for him to be on the guys\u2019 team and it was really cool to be able to talk\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">to somebody else who could tell me about their experiences and it makes me feel like I\u2019m not alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cThe swimming and diving program at Monmouth College most definitely supports Shayne\u2019s decision\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">and is firm in our commitment to support and accept him,\u201d said head swimming and diving coach <strong>Tom\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Burek<\/strong>. \u201cShayne has been and will continue to be a valuable member of our program.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cIt\u2019s nice to have a great men\u2019s team to rely on,\u201d said Shayne.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Swimming isn\u2019t the only thing Shayne is heavily involved with. In December, he was initiated into the\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">fraternity Sigma Phi Epsilon.\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">\u201cThis is something I always wanted to do,\u201d said Shayne. \u201cI contemplated rushing sororities but ended up\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">dropping out because I obviously didn\u2019t want to walk around in high heels and a dress, but I like the\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">idea.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The men of SigEp did not hesitate to give Shayne a bid. Several alumni met with Shayne to welcome him\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">into the fraternity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cThere was absolutely no hesitation in extending Shayne a bid,\u201d said teammate and brother <strong>Tom\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Cangelosi<\/strong>. \u201cIf you identify as a male, Sigma Phi Epsilon recognizes you as one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cOur only concern was making sure that Shayne personally felt comfortable joining the organization,\u201d\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">said Sigma Phi Epsilon President <strong>Jack Godlewski<\/strong>. \u201cAfter we had that discussion and he assured us he was\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">ready to join, nothing held us back. SigEp does not discriminate against transgendered students and we\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">believe that everyone should have the opportunity to join Greek life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Moving forward, Shayne is still a bit timid towards the future. \u201cI am very nervous. Everyone\u2019s been\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">telling me to be happy, it\u2019s gonna be easy, and everything\u2019s going to feel better, but it\u2019s hard not\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">knowing if everyone is going to accept your future, and also giving up your past. I had no problems\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">growing up. I don\u2019t regret who I was, I was happy and I had a loving family. Moving forward, I\u2019m nervous\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">because I still want to have those connections.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Despite going through these changes, Shayne assured that even though he will be changing, he won\u2019t be\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">a new person. \u201cI\u2019m not necessarily going to be a new person; I\u2019m just going to be living my life in a\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">different way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cAll of the support I\u2019ve gotten has been incredible,\u201d Shayne said. \u201cThe people in my life have been some\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">of the best people to walk this earth. It\u2019s good to be an advocate, but it\u2019s better to just be a friend. It\u2019s\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">the little things that have helped this go over smoother. Having support at Monmouth has helped too.\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">It\u2019s helping pave a way for other kids who are struggling with this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Shayne will compete for the men\u2019s swimming and diving team next season, and is currently serving as\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">the VP of Communication for Sigma Phi Epsilon.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><em>Reprinted with permission of Monmouth College&#8217;s student newspaper, The Courier.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Cristian Corbett, Swimming World College Intern This is a story about Shayne Stone.\u00a0\u00a0Shayne is a junior student athlete, member of Sigma Phi Epsilon with\u00a0majors in exercise science and biopsychology.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3472,"featured_media":195216,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,6,17],"tags":[57433,57471],"class_list":["post-195215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-college","category-commentary","tag-cristian-corbett","tag-shayne-stone"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 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