﻿{"id":121871,"date":"2021-02-22T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2021-02-22T14:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/?p=121871"},"modified":"2021-02-22T14:20:19","modified_gmt":"2021-02-22T21:20:19","slug":"time-to-laugh-8-things-you-shouldnt-do-on-taper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/time-to-laugh-8-things-you-shouldnt-do-on-taper\/","title":{"rendered":"Time to Laugh: 8 Things You Shouldn&#8217;t Do on Taper"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Time to Laugh: 8 Things You Shouldn&#8217;t Do on Taper<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>By Morgan Pestorius<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Taper is the most wonderful time of the year, and it serves as the best excuse for why you can\u2019t do anything except lay around and watch Netflix. Just print out this article and carry it around to use as a get out of jail free card!<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Take Out the Trash<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/spongebob11.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"121860\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/spongebob1-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/spongebob11.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"4000,3000\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;4.3&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;COOLPIX S4000&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1309199140&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;8.2&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;160&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.033333333333333&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"spongebob1\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy:&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/spongebob11-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/spongebob11-1024x768.jpg\" class=\" wp-image-121860 size-medium alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/spongebob11-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>During taper, you don\u2019t have to take the garbage out at night when the monsters can come and get you. That would be way too much energy, and also very dangerous. Thanks taper for saving my life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Shovel the Driveway<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/shovel.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"121861\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/shovel\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/shovel.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"1365,2048\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"shovel\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;shovel&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/shovel-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/shovel-683x1024.jpg\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121861 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/shovel-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"shovel\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>With all these winter snowstorms, your parents will be asking you to bundle up and shovel the driveway. Thanks to taper, you can stay inside with the hot chocolate while your siblings freeze outside.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Participate in Gym Class<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Dodgeball.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"121862\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/dodgeball\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Dodgeball.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"4499,3213\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;22&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;NIKON D700&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1369312424&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;44&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;400&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Dodgeball\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Dodgeball&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy: wikipedia&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Dodgeball-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Dodgeball-1024x731.jpg\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121862 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Dodgeball-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"Dodgeball\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Dodgeball-700x500.jpg 700w, https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Dodgeball-1024x731.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Swimmers are already the most uncoordinated athletes on the face of the earth. The last thing you need is to attempt to play soccer and end up twisting your ankle the day before your championship meet. It\u2019ll be safer just to sit out for a few classes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Carry Groceries<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/groceries.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"121863\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/groceries\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/groceries.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"3844,2691\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.8&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;NIKON D700&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1312766382&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.0005&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"groceries\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;groceries&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy: wikipedia&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/groceries-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/groceries-1024x717.jpg\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121863 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/groceries-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"groceries\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>In a swimmer household, there are plenty of groceries to satisfy their insatiable appetites, which means there are lots of groceries to unload from the car. Usually you would have to unload it because it is your food, but now your family has to carry the full load.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Take the Stairs<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/stairs.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"121864\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/stairs-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/stairs.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"3375,1662\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;4.5&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;Canon EOS 20D&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1160727921&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;20&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.2&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"stairs\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;stairs&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy: Dela Andy Kumahor&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/stairs-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/stairs-1024x504.jpg\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121864 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/stairs-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"stairs\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Why take stairs when elevators are available? That energy you save could be what gets you a best time in your race.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. Save Kittens from Trees<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/mr-incredible.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"121866\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/mr-incredible\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/mr-incredible.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"1280,720\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"mr incredible\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;mr incredible&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy: YouTube&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/mr-incredible-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/mr-incredible-1024x576.jpg\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121866 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/mr-incredible-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"mr incredible\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>As much as you want to be just like Mr. Incredible (ripping a tree out of the ground and shaking a cat from its branches), that just takes too much energy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. Help Old Ladies Cross the Street<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/street.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"121867\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/street\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/street.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"1542,1125\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.2&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;Canon PowerShot G3&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1082754117&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;12.6875&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.016666666666667&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"street\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;street&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy: Hans Anderson&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/street-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/street-1024x747.jpg\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121867 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/street-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"street\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>You can\u2019t risk breaking taper by walking that extra block to help grandma cross the street. Best save that for the boy scouts.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. Do homework<\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_121868\" style=\"width: 710px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/books.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-121868\" data-attachment-id=\"121868\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.swimmingworldmagazine.com\/news\/4-reasons-why-college-swimming-is-about-more-than-sport\/bocker\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/books-e1557086242655.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"1082,720\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;8&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;Johannes Jansson\\\/norden.org&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;NIKON D700&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;Urval av de b\\u00f6cker som har vunnit Nordiska r\\u00e5dets litteraturpris under de 50 \\u00e5r som priset funnits&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1299576352&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;Johannes Jansson\\\/norden.org&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;36&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.008&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;B\\u00f6cker&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"books\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;5\/5\/2019&lt;br \/&gt;\n11\/25\/2016&lt;br \/&gt;\n10-26-16&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Photo Courtesy: Johannes Jansson&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/books-700x500.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/books-1024x681.jpg\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121868\" src=\"http:\/\/vmrw8k5h.tinifycdn.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/books-700x500.jpg\" alt=\"Photo Courtesy: Johannes Jansson\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-121868\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo Courtesy: Johannes Jansson<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Swimming is half mental, so you need to rest your brain to make sure you are sharp. You need to be worrying about racing strategies, not derivatives. Okay&#8230;maybe you shouldn&#8217;t quit homework.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Time to Laugh: 8 Things You Shouldn&#8217;t Do on Taper By Morgan Pestorius Taper is the most wonderful time of the year, and it serves as the best excuse for<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":146320,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"8 Things You Shouldn't Do on Taper http:\/\/wp.me\/p56Jja-vHF","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[17],"tags":[46347,48648,87],"class_list":["post-121871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary","tag-morgan-pestorius","tag-netflix-inc","tag-swimmer"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\r\n<title>Time to Laugh: 8 Things You Shouldn&#039;t Do on Taper<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Taper is the most wonderful time of the year, and it serves as the best excuse for why you can\u2019t do anything except lay around and watch TV.\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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