15 Things Swimmers Are Tired of Hearing

15 Things Swimmers Are Tired of Hearing

By Allison Peters, Swimming World College Intern

Previously, I wrote “11 Things Your Swimming Coach is Tired of Yelling” This week, I write from the point of view of a swimmer and the things that we get tired of hearing. Here are a few things non-competitive swimmers say to swimmers that never cease to drive us crazy.

15 Things Swimmers Are Tired of Hearing

1.  I never see you. You’re always at practice.

I’m not always at practice…just about 10 times a week with sessions of dryland, lifting and stretching thrown in. Okay, so I’m there a lot, but it’s only because of how dedicated swimmers are to their sport. How many other sports do you see people training this much, morning, noon and night, just to cut .1 off their time at championships?

2. You smell like chlorine.

That might have to do with something about your first complaint about how I’m always at practice. The plus side to this is that I’m practically immune to the smell! So while it may disgust you, I don’t even notice it anymore (until I get into my car after practice and all the windows fog up).

3. How many laps do you do at practice?

I never know how to answer this question. Sometimes I forget that swimmers have their own lingo – which doesn’t include counting laps. I mean, who else would understand, “Well we did three rounds of seven 25s, variable sprint.”

4.  So are you as fast as Michael Phelps?

Nothing annoys me more than this question. If I was as fast as Michael Phelps, don’t you think you would know? I would’ve already been to multiple Olympics and have tons of Olympic medals to my name. I’d also probably be on the cereal box you opened for breakfast this morning.

5.  Swimming isn’t a real sport.

Okay, scratch what I said before. THIS is what annoys me the most from a non-swimmer. In swimming, you can’t take a break, or call a time out or ask for a substitute! Don’t tell us our sport isn’t a real sport when we train year-round, in and out of the pool, getting thousands of yards in while non-swimmers sleep, all in hopes of shaving tiny fragments of time off at championships.

6.  Advice from Grandma after a swim: I thought you swam well, but you need to kick more in your breaststroke.

I know our family is just there to support us every meet. Mine literally comes every chance they can make it to see me swim. Sometimes though, especially after you swim badly, the last thing you want to hear is your grandma’s critiques on your 100 breaststroke that really don’t even make sense.

7.  If you swim, you must have a six-pack.

Although I don’t really think anyone would mind having this assumption made about them, it is a pretty odd thing to just randomly ask in an everyday conversation.

8.  Do all the boys HAVE to wear Speedos?

Let me start off by explaining that Speedo is a brand, not the name of the suit. It’s really called a brief. They don’t have to wear them, but a lot of them do prefer to.

9.  Let’s race!

The number of times I’ve been at a pool party in my two-piece bathing suit and someone has challenged me to a swim-off is infinite. I’ve never lost – I always carry an extra pair of goggles with me.

10.  Do you wear the cap to keep your hair dry?

If that is the purpose of a cap, mine is broken. We wear them to keep hair out of our eyes. Also, it stops boys’ hair from turning to straw or blondes’ hair from turning green.

11.  What’s your time in your swim race?

You need to be more specific. There are about 14 races you could be asking me about.

12.  Do you eat 12,000 calories a day like Michael Phelps?

Phelps was interviewed saying he only eats about 8,000 to 10,000 calories a day while he’s in training. I’d love to say I could gorge myself with that many calories as well, but I’d probably sink to the bottom of the pool during practice.

13.  Why do you have to shave before meets?

Shaving is a normal thing that every swimmer has to do before championship meets, even the boys. It helps you feel like a bullet shooting through the water and gets rid of extra resistance.

14.  I woke up so early this morning, 9 a.m.!

Please don’t tell me this. I’ve already been up for almost four hours when your alarm was just starting to go off.

15.  I don’t know how I’m going to get all this homework done, I have so much to do!

Try fitting in four hours a day worth of training, class and extra curricular activities and see if you can get all your homework done too. I think being a swimmer has given me an amazing sense of time management so I’m able to get everything done and get to bed. Though that doesn’t mean it’s a piece of cake to fit it all in.

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flutterby
7 years ago

How about when I tell someone that I came in 10th at Nationals and they ask “out of how many?”

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Bytterflu
1 month ago
Reply to  flutterby

or they say that it’s meh that you placed 9th in the whole event
like you try

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Claudia
7 years ago

This is great!

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Chris
7 years ago

I always hate how swimmers think they are the only ones who practice at 5 am and twice a day. Your not the only sport that has “10 sessions a week + weight training”…

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6 years ago

The last one really annoys me!

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Josie
6 years ago

Oh and how about when you come to school after a meet and you’re asked the question “did you win?”
*sigh* No. You cannot win a meet.

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Nicky
1 year ago
Reply to  Josie

LOL! My son hears that all the time. He replies with, “win what!” “I got out of bed, trained & came to school, that’s a win.”

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6 years ago

Aamir Motiwala Meherwan Ronnie Patel Muhammad Babar Ibrahim Lari Hassan Munawar Kawas Aga so darn true

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6 years ago

Omg this is so true Abbas Hussain Dhanji

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6 years ago

2. You smell like chlorine, Amine celui ci est bien vrai

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6 years ago
Reply to  Anthony Grd

Mais j’y peux rien 🙁

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6 years ago

It’s like people asking runners how long was that marathon? 26.2 miles, just like all the others.

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6 years ago

HAHAHAHAHA exactly

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6 years ago

Magnus Hoffmann – nr. 6 …. Are you my grandma??

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Anne Glerup Nielsen Camilla Veile

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6 years ago

Mathilde Hedemand Dennis Valentin Madsen

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Reply to  Gitta Nielsen

Stort set alle sammen har jeg hørt 100 gange 😛

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6 years ago
Reply to  Gitta Nielsen

Ja!

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6 years ago

Nikoline Dalby Østerberg nr. 15?

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Ja omg

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6 years ago

Banah-Jena Fakhoury

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6 years ago
Reply to  Remi Neeno

Hahaha so true!

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6 years ago

Casey Wilson

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Simone Sloth Østergaard

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Julieta Alvarez

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6 years ago

Kaia Celine Hylland

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6 years ago

Haiam Elgendy

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6 years ago

Maja Johansen

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Bill v.
6 years ago

Now I know what to say to old swimming friends who still swim. Excellent tips, thank you.

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6 years ago

Rachel Nicol

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6 years ago

Alex Brooksbank hehe way back when

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6 years ago

Mahmoud Mohamed

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Chris Sugars

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grace
6 years ago

?been there. done that ?

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6 years ago

Laura van Dijke 15??

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6 years ago
Reply to  Sanne Rebers

Hahaha geniaal!!

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6 years ago

Hahah precies dit Valesca van den Bogert

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Idd precies dit

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Sarah Karoline Pernille Melanie ? så rigtigt❤️❤️

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Ja!!?

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6 years ago

Total rigtigt!?❤️

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6 years ago

Har også læst den lige før du taggede mig?❤️

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Det er så rigtigt det der??❤️

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6 years ago

Amalie Kroll Mathiassen

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Jakub Džejtí Tomáš so true???

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6 years ago

Rita Salem

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6 years ago

1, 14, 15 Hehe… ma ba2a ra7 efta7 temeh. Sorry babe

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Frederikke Fonnesbech Bust

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6 years ago

Frederikke Suhnsen ??

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1 year ago

Kate Stensberg 14 and 15 ?

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1 year ago
Reply to  Jessica Bonnie

Really brings a whole new kind of rage

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Frequent Flyer
1 year ago

Do you wear your mask in the pool?

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Sharon
3 months ago

And this hasn’t changed. I heard the same stuff when I was a competitive swimmer, 40 YEARS AGO,

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