Growing Up on the Pool Deck: Having Your Parent as Your Coach

What It’s Like to Grow Up With a Parent as Your Coach

Every pool has one or a fewー the kids who are always there, who are early to every meet and practice and are known by the entire team. These kids are often the coaches’ kids, and carry a set of experiences unique to their situation. With how often they are around water, it makes sense for these kids to begin swimming early. They’re by the poolside anyway.

My mom was my coach, and I began swimming at six years old. Starting that early with a parent already extremely involved means that you enter the sport known as your parent’s child first and a swimmer second. That is why it is essential to make your mark on the sport despite the challenges.

The Expectation to Swim

I have not questioned my love for swimming in a very long time, but sometimes I used to wonder if I would be a swimmer if it weren’t for my mom. When you’ve been doing something for so long, it’s hard to contemplate stopping, even if it is something you enjoy. I know that my mom would have been supportive if I genuinely wanted to stop swimming, but I also know that it would still feel impossible to bring up, especially with how involved my entire family has been in the sport.

The expectation to swim and swim well weighed on me a lot while growing up. It took time to figure out my swimming identity. She coached me directly between the ages of seven and 10, and past that point, we decided that it was best if she wasn’t my lead coach.

She was still present on deck, but that time without her directly coaching me was essential, as it allowed me to grow as a swimmer during what I consider one of the most critical parts of my swimming development. I came to further appreciate what she had done for me, and I discovered how I liked to train and made mistakes without feeling like I had pressure to achieve.

Mom’s Shadow

Even though I discovered my true inclination toward swimming, that did not mean that everyone else had learned to separate me from my mom. The last name on my cap was always an instant cue for other coaches on deck to call my mom’s name. It never bothered me, and I found it increasingly comedic as I got older.

To their benefit, these interactions led to conversations, and created relationships with coaches on other teams that I would’ve never spoken to otherwise. This was handy, particularly when it came time to stay at swim meets during a session I was not swimming in. However long the coaches had to stay, I tended to stay the same amount. I enjoyed talking to them, and this caused me to develop a further appreciation for coaches in general.

Beyond the Pool Deck

For me, entering high school swimming meant that my mom was no longer my coach. She had coached me from the very beginning, so it was a large adjustment going from having her only a moment away to up in the stands.

Even when she is in the sea of spectators, I always look to her first after a good swim. Her pride in me means the world, and I adore sharing my success with her. After all, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without her.

All commentaries are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Swimming World Magazine nor its staff.

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PAUL KARAS

1 year ago

Great article and welcome to Oakland University. Your positive attitude is welcomed daily on the pool deck.

Coach pk

Ron

1 year ago

Reagan: Thank you so much for sharing. I think I know a few official’s kids who can relate to some of your life experiences. Well done. This is a great article.