Emotional Stability in Swimming: Which Lane to Choose?

emotions-swimmer-pool
Photo Courtesy: Farhad Sh via flickr

By Seren Jones, Swimming World College Intern

Many high school and college swimmers reach a point in their lives where they consider and partake in romantic relationships, on top of their already occupied lifestyle. Throughout the decision making process, they are questioned and warned by coaches, peers and parents, about the potential consequences of being romantically involved as an elite athlete.

“You’ll get distracted.”

“You’re too young.”

“Are you sure about this?”

The questions and comments can seem endless.

Photo Courtesy: Katie Seaton

Photo Courtesy: Katie Seaton

On the other hand, some have advocated that athletes involve themselves in stable relationships in order to better focus on their sporting goals. For example, famous soccer coach, Sir Alex Ferguson, always argued the need for his athletes to have stability in their home lives in order to better perform on the professional stage.

According to psychologist Dr. Jim Taylor emotion sits at the top of the Prime Sport Pyramid, above motivation, confidence, intensity and focus. Taylor believes that emotion is the primary factor that dictates the outcome of an athlete’s performance. If an athlete is feeling emotionally stable, happy, and positive, then it’s more likely that the athlete will perform at a higher standard, than an athlete who is feeling emotionally unstable and negative, which could be damaging to his or her physical performance.

So how do we, as swimmers, best develop this emotional stability? Is it by expanding our social relationships and networks, or through increasing the investment in our swimming identities?

This controversial topic remains an avenue for continuing debate.

2015-mesa-annie-grevers-and-matt-grevers

Photo Courtesy: Taylor Brien

In an attempt to present both sides of this topic, I have written this article in the form of a dialogue. This is done to allow you, as the reader, to navigate your own personal understanding between the points of the continuum. The dialogue begins when Skeptical Sam (SS) bumps into Enthusiastic Emma (EE) during some down time before practice.

Dialogue

SS: Hey EE, what are you looking so pleased with yourself about?

EE: Hi SS. Well, I’ve just been asked out by someone I really like, and guess what? I said yes!

SS: Hmmmmm…..are you sure that’s a good idea?

EE: What do you mean? Of course it’s a good idea. Haven’t you heard Coach say that he wants his athletes to settle down into positive relationships?

SS: That’s true, I have, but things are never as straightforward as they seem in Coach’s world, are they?

EE: What do you mean by that? You always seem so negative.

SS: Sorry EE, I didn’t mean to sound negative, I’m just being realistic.

EE: Well, I don’t care what you say, because I think having a relationship as an athlete is good. It allows you to share emotional experiences with someone you trust.

SS: Okay, but how do you define trust? And it’s not much of a relationship if you’re emotionally unloading onto them all the time.

EE: It won’t be unloading. In a relationship the two parties have an emotional understanding of one another, thus we will empathize with one another’s experiences.

SS: Wow, you’re making a big assumption there, don’t you think? What if your relationship lacks this mutual empathy and understanding? Then what? Also, it seems as if your partner is just there to support you; and that’s exploitative, right?

EE: You’re assuming that this is a bad relationship. This wouldn’t happen in a positive, healthy relationship. Okay, I would receive additional encouragement, support and understanding. I don’t see anything bad about that. And I would do the same back…

SS: But as an athlete, with your already hectic lifestyle, would you be able to invest as much time and effort into the relationship as your partner would? You just don’t have the time and energy really, do you? Of course, if you don’t, which is unfair, this will only cause unwanted conflict within the relationship, which could damage your emotional well-being and consequently affect your swimming. Happy athletes are successful athletes.

EE: Right, but if the relationship is making me happy, then surely it’s good for my well-being. I’ll generally be in a better mood, which means I’ll be happier. I’ll have a better attitude turning up to practice and going to meets, thus it should benefit my performance, simply because I’m more optimistic. Also, unlike you, I don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket.

SS: Perhaps you’re right. But this relationship may distract you. If you start investing a lot of your time and effort into it you may lose focus of the goals you want to achieve in the pool. Also, what happens when you have your disagreements, which you inevitably will. Relationships are never always rosy y’know. It could lead to a lot of pain and wasted emotion.

EE: I could say the same about you and your relationship with swimming. Being as attached to swimming as you are only makes you more vulnerable to failure and disappointment when things don’t go to plan. Still, I do think it will be good to have another perspective; just to keep me grounded.

SS: I don’t know EE, I’m just wary of it, especially as this is a really big year for us. I’d rather max my chances in the pool for our final season. But good look with the date.

EE: Thanks for your concern, SS. I’ll see you at practice. Get ready to go hard!

Apr 15, 2015; Mesa, AZ, USA; North Baltimore Aquatic Club teammates Allison Schmitt and Michael Phelps check their goggles during practice session at the Arena Pro Swim Series at Skyline Aquatic Center. Mandatory Credit: Rob Schumacher/Arizona Republic via USA TODAY Sports

Photo Courtesy: Arizona Republic-USA TODAY Sports

Conclusion

Swimming is an extremely demanding sport where we practice around 20 hours per week just to shave milliseconds off our times. Because we invest so much time and effort into our sport, the last thing we need is a relationship that will cause distraction, pain and heartbreak, right? We don’t need the additional stress of being with someone who requires more time, energy and attention than we can offer. It will only leave us drained and affect our performances.

But if there is a mutual understanding and appreciation within a relationship, and the demand of time, energy and attention is possible for us to offer, then why not invest? If it can provide moral support, an outside perspective, and some encouragement after a bad day or a bad race, it may not be as bad as we may think. Anyway, there is no correct answer so pick your poison.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

Welcome to our community. We invite you to join our discussion. Our community guidelines are simple: be respectful and constructive, keep on topic, and support your fellow commenters. Commenting signifies that you agree to our Terms of Use

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x