Buy Dartmouth Swimming on eBay

HANOVER, N.H., Dec. 3. IT seems Dartmouth swimming, which faces elimination at the end of this season due to budget cuts, may have a new life — for the right price.

Finding dark humor in a desperate situation, team members have put the men's and women's team up for bid on eBay, the popular online auction site.

"Have you ever wanted to own your own sports team?" the listing reads. "If so, this is your chance. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own a piece of NCAA Division I collegiate memorabilia. Do the words 'corporate sponsorship' mean anything to you?"

The listing continues: "As you may or may now know, the illustrious Dartmouth College (Hanover, NH), a respected member of the elite Ivy League community, has recently announced that it will no longer be offering men's and women's varsity swimming after the conclusion of the 2002-2003 season 'as part of planned College-wide budget reductions' that call for a $260,000 reduction of their annual athletic budget of a modest $10.8 million dollars.

"Cutting the swimming program would save the College $212,000 or 1.962962963% of its yearly athletic budget.

"Mind you, Dartmouth College is a wealthy institution with an endowment of approximately $2 billion, give or take ten million here or there. Who could possibly expect them to be able to spare a measly $200 thousand?

"Make sense yet? Didn't think so."

The men's and women's team annually spends $212,000. The opening bid for the team is $211,000.

No word on what the college would do should any serious bidders step forward.

Visit: Dartmouth on Ebay

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Author: Archive Team

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